Dear FaceBook: A Break-Up Letter

Dear FaceBook,

we’ve had 15 years together and I feel that this is enough. It’s time to go our separate ways. I feel that a separation is the true desire of both of us. The way I see it is, I’m going up, and you’re going down, and the tension is too great to keep us together any longer.

When I opened my FaceBook account, in 2007, you were the coolest thing out there. One big problem with life before then: you could make great friends through, say, a mutual acquaintance, and then those friends would go back overseas and you’d lose contact with them. A network that a person could use to stay in touch with these people was the perfect thing for a then-university student.

I can still remember how much fun those early days were. Back then, everyone I met through you was cool. You seemed to only know cool and interesting people: the talented and the educated. In 2007, if some random commented on a friend’s post, that random was probably someone worth knowing too. A FaceBook account was a gateway to a world of great people.

But over the years, I saw your standards fall and fall.

The first sign was the televisionisation. The prospect of money from the advertising guys seemed like a drug for you – you were hooked instantly. Suddenly there were ads everywhere, in between the quality posts from intelligent people. Ads, ads, ads, ads. Everywhere.

Then the quality pages started to get throttled. The great awakening/conspiracy pages started to reach far fewer readers. And then the mainstream media started to muscle in. Soon there were “Recommended” posts that were all mainstream media content. Just the same mainstream media content that I stopped watching television in order to avoid!

The worst thing, though, was the bannings. Why ban me for making Hitler jokes? Were you worried about losing advertisers? Eventually a person could get banned for anything on FaceBook. It was a simple matter of making a joke that the Filipino moderators on $1/hr didn’t approve of, and wham – banned.

It seems to me like you care more about money now than information quality, which is the exact opposite of the spirit of the Internet. The old FaceBook, which was full of groups of subject matter enthusiasts sharing expert knowledge, is gone. The great meme pages have been censored into oblivion. Now it’s just ads and low-IQ drivel.

Now, every pissed-off loser is on FaceBook, crying about stupid shit that I don’t care about. All the scientists and philosophers are long gone. By today, 2022, you are filled up with trash, worse than television ever was. I’m more likely to get death threats through FaceBook than invites to a good party.

In fact, many of the worst people I know I have met through you.

This is a complete turnaround from 15 years ago. Back then, it was the people in my physical environment who were rough and trashy, and online life gave me a chance to get away from them, and to meet a higher quality of person. But now that I’m getting older, getting more accomplished, earning more respect, the people in my physical environment are fairly decent. The people I meet through you though… ‘rough and trashy’ only begins to describe it.

It seems like all the quality people no longer have FaceBook accounts and spend time elsewhere. And it’s not just me who thinks this. Your reputation is in tatters. People now call you ‘FaecesBook’ without any irony, and, worst of all, you show no sign of any intention to change the direction in which you’re going. That’s what tells me that we now have to go our separate ways.

I’ve enjoyed the entertainment you have given me. I have had some good laughs over the years, winding up tards and debating politics with normies. But you’ve shown me that you’re going downwards and have no wish to change course. So this letter is to give you notice that I am deleting my FaceBook account. Best of luck to you in sorting yourself out.

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