Beard – paihau
A man with a really long beard keep talking and talking, so a woman grabs it, stuffs it into his mouth and says “Shut your pie hole!”
Chin – kauae
A man with an enormous chin keeps tapping on a woman’s shoulder. She turns around and says “Go away!”
Ear – taringa
A woman is wearing massive hooped earrings, when a car drives past, throwing up a chunk of tar onto her. On her ears are tar rings.
Eye – karu
A car opens up its headlights and instead of lights there are eyes there.
Face – kanohi
A man in a canoe paddles down a river, but the canoe gets stuck on the giant stone face of a moai in the current.
Forehead – rae
A man is praying on his knees when a ray of light bursts through the clouds and strikes his forehead.
Hair – makawe
A man with incredible hair sits on a chair, as part of a contest. A woman walks up to him with a pen and clipboard and asks if she can mark his hair. “Mark away,” he replies.
Head – mātenga
At K-Mart, two disembodied heads get into an argument. The heads are exhibiting mart anger.
Lip – ngutu
A trendy-looking woman stretches out her lip and plays it like a banjo. To a nearby journalist, she says “It’s the thing to do!”
Mouth – māngai
An artist sits at a desk, practising how to draw mouths in the Japanese manga style.
Neck – kakī
A solider dressed in khaki has a neck that stretches high into the air.
Nose – ihu
A man walks up to a busker and, out of his nose, deposits a number of coins into the busker’s hat. Then he says “He who pays the piper calls the tune.”
The above is an excerpt from the upcoming Learn Maori Vocabulary With Mnemonics, by Jeff Ngatai, due to be published by VJM Publishing in the summer of 2017/18.