Clown World Chronicles: Who Is Virgin?

Most of the luminaries in the Clown World pantheon are admired and imitated, but others serve as warnings. Human nature contains a great variety of instinctual desires and impulses, and many of those are nasty. Every spiritual tradition carries warnings about indulging those desires and impulses to excess. In Clown World, one such warning is the example of Virgin.

Virgin is not conspicuously shorter or uglier than average. If he was, he wouldn’t be the Virgin – he’d just be some short or ugly man. To have achieved a place in the Clown World pantheon, Virgin has had to embody a particular spiritual essence. His is the essence of narcissistic masculine self-absorption.

Virgin shuffles along in drab clothing and cheap sneakers, his gaze downcast, his shoulders hunched. Never does he think about the effect that his sullenness has on the other people around him. Nor does he think about how his passive and weak body language repels women. His virginity is, in his mind, 100% the fault of other people.

The idea that virginity is shameful is an old one. It follows from the idea that women are the gatekeepers of sex, and so only men who have been declared worthy may enter. It’s related to the idea that losing one’s virginity makes one a man. Most people understand that sexual reproduction is, to a major extent, a contest, and to get laid is therefore to win.

‘Virgin’ has been used as an insult ever since. It refers to an unworthy man who does not appeal to women. Since the roasties of Clown World will fuck almost anything, a man usually has to have something wrong with him to still be a virgin. But there’s more to Virgin than being simply physically unattractive. He is very different to El Goblino.

The major difference between Virgin and Chad is that Virgin is massively egotistical.

Legends tell of women that were into Virgin but got rejected because they were less than perfect. Virgin is so conceited that anything less than perfection is not up to his standards. He genuinely believes that he is the greatest of all men, and therefore that he deserves the best looking of all women.

Virgin is also heavily neurotic, again for egotistical reasons. He doesn’t know if he prefers Stacy for a summer romance or Waifu for a permanent relationship. He is the archetypal example of chasing two rabbits and losing them both. Fundamentally, his neurotic insecurity follows from being unable to let go of the delusion that he is the centre of the Universe.

Chad causes Virgin to seethe in many ways. It isn’t just that Chad gets laid all the time when Virgin does not. It’s also that Virgin attributes all kinds of false motives to Chad’s masculine rectitude. Where Chad is friendly, Virgin sees him as shallow. Where Chad is brave, Virgin sees him as stupid. Where Chad is honest, Virgin sees him as immoral.

This uncharitable cynicism is the main reason why Virgin is a god of the negative axis. He is an unpleasant character, always complaining, always trying to pull others down to make himself appear better by comparison.

Although a pitiable figure, Virgin’s suffering is all self-inflicted. As such, he serves as a dark figure of warning. In the Clown World pantheon, Virgin represents the dangers of letting one’s ego get out of control. He is entirely capable of achieving great things and becoming a Chad himself, but he is prevented by the fact that he won’t let go of his ego.

Virgin is the Younger God of the Negative Masculine Axis. He is what Wojak can transmute into if he falls off the spiritual path. The everyday Clown World citizen can start losing the spiritual battle if they, like Virgin, fail to keep their egos in check. Virgin serves as a warning of what happens if one doesn’t do enough meditation or smoke enough weed.

If Virgin doesn’t change the path he’s on, he’ll end up like Doomer. Doomer is someone who never figured it out, and who can only see the evil in the world. The main difference between the two is that Virgin, being the Younger God, still has hope that things will change for the better.

The best option for Virgin is to unfuck himself, start getting laid and transmute into Chad. There are two ways to do this, as mentioned above.

The first way is to meditate. Virgin won’t do this because he lacks a spiritual sense, on account of that he thinks of himself as the highest god. As such, he is utterly incapable of understanding his own shortcomings. Lacking self-insight, he behaves in ways that appall others. Meditating would allow him to learn the humility he needs to become like Chad.

The second way is to take spiritual sacraments. As Alan Watts said, “People suffer only because they take seriously what the gods made for fun.” The insight brought about by the use of sacraments such as cannabis, psilocybin, LSD and dimethyltryptamine has the potential to radically alter a person’s spiritual path. Virgin isn’t interested in spiritual sacraments, on account of that he already considers himself perfect.

Any denizen of Clown World who wishes to alleviate their spiritual suffering might win from meditating upon the travails of Virgin. It is often worth reflecting upon the fact that excessive self-regard can repel both women and other people in general. Clown World could be conceptualised as a time when ego runs rampant, and Virgin as an example of the type of man it produces.


This article is an excerpt from Clown World Chronicles, a book about the insanity of life in the post-Industrial West. This is being compiled by Vince McLeod for an expected release in the middle of 2020.


If you enjoyed reading this essay, you can get a compilation of the Best VJMP Essays and Articles of 2019 from Amazon for Kindle or Amazon for CreateSpace (for international readers), or TradeMe (for Kiwis). A compilation of the Best VJMP Essays and Articles of 2018 and the Best VJMP Essays and Articles of 2017 are also available.


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