Army – waitaua
A medieval army lays seige to a tower shaped like the letter Y – the Y tower.
Artillery – ngā pū
A group of soldiers wearing nappies operate and fire an artillery piece.
hit – patu(-a)
A medieval knight hits another knight with a golf putter.
miss – tohipa
Someone has chopped off a large number of toes and put them in a heap. A man throws a cricket ball at the toe heap but misses.
Battlefield – kauhanga riri
On a future battlefield, a giant robot picks up cows and hangs them in trees. A watching soldier says “It’s a cowhanger, really!”
Rifle – raiwhara
A man and a woman get married, and a rifle serves as celebrant. The rifle, from the perspective of the groom, is therefore a wifer.
shoot – pupuhi
A man fires a gun at another man, but instead of bullets, sewerage comes out. This makes the man who got shot poo-pooey.
Soldier – hōia
Two soldiers are trying to place a mirror on the wall. One of them keeps saying “Higher! Higher!”
Sword – hoari
A woman runs down the street swinging a sword while dressed as a prostitute (a whore).
Tank – waka taua
A battletank swings its turrent and tries to knock down a tower. The tank is trying to whack a tower.
Weapon – patu
A man pulls out an AK-47 and says “This is a weapon,” and then pulls out a magazine, inserts it into the AK-47 and says “This is a weapon part two.”
Shotgun – tūpara
A teenage boy fires a shotgun, the barrel of which narrows down to an extreme taper.
The above is an excerpt from the upcoming Learn Maori Vocabulary With Mnemonics, by Jeff Ngatai, due to be published by VJM Publishing in the summer of 2017/18.