Army – waitaua
A medieval army lays seige to a tower shaped like the letter Y – the Y tower.
Artillery – ngā pū
A group of soldiers wearing nappies operate and fire an artillery piece.
hit – patu(-a)
A medieval knight hits another knight with a golf putter.
miss – tohipa
Someone has chopped off a large number of toes and put them in a heap. A man throws a cricket ball at the toe heap but misses.
Battlefield – kauhanga riri
On a future battlefield, a giant robot picks up cows and hangs them in trees. A watching soldier says “It’s a cowhanger, really!”
Rifle – raiwhara
A man and a woman get married, and a rifle serves as celebrant. The rifle, from the perspective of the groom, is therefore a wifer.
shoot – pupuhi
A man fires a gun at another man, but instead of bullets, sewerage comes out. This makes the man who got shot poo-pooey.
Soldier – hōia
Two soldiers are trying to place a mirror on the wall. One of them keeps saying “Higher! Higher!”
Sword – hoari
A woman runs down the street swinging a sword while dressed as a prostitute (a whore).
Tank – waka taua
A battletank swings its turrent and tries to knock down a tower. The tank is trying to whack a tower.
Weapon – patu
A man pulls out an AK-47 and says “This is a weapon,” and then pulls out a magazine, inserts it into the AK-47 and says “This is a weapon part two.”
Shotgun – tūpara
A teenage boy fires a shotgun, the barrel of which narrows down to an extreme taper.
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The above is an excerpt from the upcoming Learn Maori Vocabulary With Mnemonics, by Jeff Ngatai, due to be published by VJM Publishing in the summer of 2017/18.