Lock – kaiwhītiki
Two very tall men, wearing numbers 4 and 5, sit in a cafe wearing tikis and drinking coffee. They are wearing the cafe tikis.
Loosehead Prop – pou waho
The camera shows a heavy-set man wearing a number 1 jersey. Behind him, in the crowd, is a man with a foam “We’re No. 1” hand, and he shouts “Wahooo!”
Tighthead Prop – pou roto
A heavy-set man wearing a number 3 jersey floats down to the ground by means of a helicopter rotor sticking out of his jersey.
Blindside Flanker – pou kāpō
A car pulls up at a rugby ground and four men wearing number 6 leap out. The blindside flankers had been carpooling.
Openside Flanker – pou tuwhera
A tooth fairy wearing a number 7 jersey floats down to take place on the side of a scrum.
Halfback – kairau
A short man wearing a number 9 jersey runs through the streets of Cairo, stopping to pick up a ball from the ground and pass it.
Forward – pou mua
A scrum is set down, but instead of a forward pack there are eight cows linked together, mooing. Forwards are mooers.
Back – pou muri
A spectator observes the brown skin of the backline and says “Hey, the backs are all Māori!”
Wing – taitapa
A player wearing a number 14 jersey and a necktie waits out on the wing, nervously tapping his tie. He is the tie-tapper.
Centre – topa pū
The player wearing the number 13 jersey finds a dogturd a starts to tape it up to hide it. Someone asks if he’s ready, and he replies “I’ve got to tape a poo.”
First Five-Eighth – topatahi
Wearing a number 10 jersey and waiting for the pass from the halfback is a very tall potato.
Second Five-Eighth – toparua
The player wearing the number 12 jersey has his shorts pulled up as high as they can go. He is wearing a tall pair o’ shorts.
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The above is an excerpt from the upcoming Learn Maori Vocabulary With Mnemonics, by Jeff Ngatai, due to be published by VJM Publishing in the summer of 2018/19.
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