Flower – putiputi
Valerie Adams throws a shotput, only instead of the shot it’s a bouquet of flowers. She throws a bouquet twice, so put-put.
Snail – ngata
A day slowly turns to night and, when it does, a whole lot of snails come out.
Shovel – kāheru
A man sees another man walking along with a shovel over his shoulder, and calls out “Come here, you!”
Tree – rākau
A crazy old man uses a rake to clear the leaves from a tree that’s still standing and healthy.
Rake – purau
A woman takes a rake and purees it in a blender by pushing it in shaft first.
Grass – pātītī
A woman lies sunbathing in the grass. Instead of a bikini, her breasts are covered with pies. She has a pie-titty.
Leaf – rau
A boy nails a bunch of leaves to a wall in a row.
Bone – kōiwi
Bones are arranged on the ground in the shape of a kiwi.
Path – ara
A bunch of Mongrel Mob members walk down a garden path, chanting “Araaa!”
Bee – pī
A man is taking a pee at the edge of his garden, and he gets stung on the penis by a bee.
Wall – tara
A small girl walks up to an imposing brick wall and tears it down because it is only made of crepe paper.
Lawnmower – pōtarotaro
A lawnmover runs over a bunch of potatoes on the lawn.
*
The above is an excerpt from the upcoming Learn Maori Vocabulary With Mnemonics, by Jeff Ngatai, due to be published by VJM Publishing in the summer of 2017/18.