Te Reo With Mnemonics: School and Study Words

to study, to learn – ako

A student is learning how to do arc welding. With a welding helmet on, he shoots electric arcs all over the place. “Ah, cool!” he says.

to teach – whakaako

A student learning arc welding is shooting arcs all over the place instead of aiming them at the metal to be welded. His teacher comes over and says “Fuck arcs!” and then teaches the student how to be more accurate and precise.

Subject – akoranga

An old dignitary on a campus tour approaches a young man who is standing at a sink coring apples. The dignitary asks: “What subject are you studying? Cooking?” The youth looks back and replies: “Ah, Coring.”

Book – pukapuka

A small boy sits reading a picture book about two adventurous pigs. The book is titled ‘Porker Porker‘.

Student – tauira

A number of half-men, half-monkeys sit at desks in a classroom. Absent a teacher, they are occupied with cleaning the wax out of their ears with their own toes. Every student here is a toe-earer.

Teacher – kaiako

A man kayaks down a river. The river runs through a classroom, so he kayaks up the shore, gets out, and starts teaching his class. The teacher is a kayaker.

Professor/teacher of high standing – ahorangi

An old dignitary on a campus tour approaches a woman who is clearly dressed to solicit men for prostitution. The dignitary asks: “You’re a professor? What subject are you a professor of?” The woman looks back and replies: “Ah, Whoring.”

Classroom – akomanga

In a primary school classroom, all the kids line up to hang a comb on a bow turned upside-down for the purpose. At the front of the class room is a comb hanger.

to know, to understand, to realise – mōhio

A woman is teaching a young girl to tapdance. The girl shows what she can do and the woman says “More heel. More heel.” The girl says “Okay, I get it.”

Awareness/Intelligence/Perception – mōhiotanga

A woman walks onto a stage before an audience, blindfolds herself, and says “This dance is called the more heel tango.” She launches into a dance which is mix of tapdancing with heavy emphasis on heel strikes, and the tango. She comes very close to the edge but does not fall off, despite being blindfolded, thanks to a kind of extra-sensory awareness or perception.

Knowledge/Wisdom/Understanding – mātauranga

A bikini-clad beach bunny walks along the boardwalk reading a book called “The Book of Knowledge and Wisdom.” Her toe ring falls off and rolls away, and she calls out “My toe ring!”

University degree – tohu mātauranga

At a graduation ceremony, a barefoot young woman walks on stage to receive her degree. The man gives her the degree and says “Don’t forget to give your toe ring to the dean.” The girl says “Give to who my toe ring?”

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This wordlist is an except from Learn Te Reo With Mnemonics, a book being compiled by Jeff Ngatai for an expected release at the beginning of 2020.

Te Reo With Mnemonics: Recreational Drugs Words

Cannabis – tarukino

The Queen sits on a throne smoking some cannabis. A truck backs up to her and dumps a pile of tar in front of her. The cannabis is being smoked by the Tar Queen.

Beer – pia

A man walks along a pier while skulling a bottle of beer.

Tobacco – tupeka

A pouch of tobacco lies on the ground while two chickens peck at it. The tobacco is under attack by two peckers.

Wine – wāina

A family sits at a table in a restaurant. The young boy of the family is sipping from a glass of wine and screwing up his face. He says “But Mum, I don’t like shiraz!” His mother says “Drink up and don’t be such a whiner.”

to smoke – auahi

A man sits at a table, smoking one cigarettes after another out of a pack. A woman comes up to him and says “Where did you cigarettes go?” The man replies: “I smoked them all away.”

to drink – inu

A man sitting at a bar skulls a bottle of hard liquor and then falls on the ground unconscious. Another man asks the barmaid if the man knew he was drinking hard liquor and not lemonade. The women shrugs and says “He knew.”

Spirits/Hard Liquor/Alcohol – waipiro

A man sits in a car drinking hard liquor from a paper bag. It’s raining, and although the car is parked the window wipers are going full tilt.

Methamphetamine – tioata whakaihi

Two men are sitting at a table, smoking meth out of lightbulbs and chewing on rocks in their mania. One of the men says “Chewing all these rocks is making me hungry.” The other man fixes him with a baleful stare and says “Chew harder! Fuck eating!”

Cigarette – hikareti

If you know anyone named Eddie, imagine them hiking along a trail. Then they stop and pull out a cigarette, light it and smoke it. The cigarette is being smoked by Hiker Eddie.

Rolling papers – pepa hikareti

If you know anyone named Eddie, imagine then hiking along a roadside. He comes to a tree that has cigarette rolling papers instead of leaves. A strong wind blows, and it blows the papers off the tree and into Eddie’s face. The rolling papers pepper Hiker Eddie.

to be drunk – haurangi

Two drunks are sitting around in a flat, drinking. The phone rings, and one of them tries to answer it but ends up knocking the phone out of the wall and then falling on his face. The other drunk looks up and slurs: “Who rang?”

to be stoned/high – māngina

Two stoners are sitting around smoking from bongs. One of them says: “I think this weed has got us more stoned than the last stuff.” The other one looks back, shrugs and says “It’s marginal.”

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This wordlist is an except from Learn Te Reo With Mnemonics, a book being compiled by Jeff Ngatai for an expected release at the beginning of 2020.

Te Reo With Mnemonics: Media Words

Report – pūrongo

A TV presenter speaks to the camera and says “The Government claims that this network is fake news. This report shows why this idea is purely wrong.”

Reporter – rīpoata

A journalist is standing at ringside for a women’s Mixed Martial Arts event and, when they are fighting, he screams “Rip her heart out!”

according to – hei tā

A new reporter walks up to a woman, points to a man and says “According to that guy, you’re a hater.” The woman protests “According to who? I’m no hater!”

Television – pouaka whakaata

On television, there is a show where Dan Carter is sitting at a table at a restaurant. He makes an order to a waiter, and the waiter calls out “A porker for Carter!”

Message/Messenger – karere

A uniformed man walks briskly, carrying an envelope. A woman approaches and asks him “Are you the messenger?” The man replies “I’m a courier.”

Radio – reo irirangi

A radio plays to an empty kitchen. The music stops and then the radio broadcasts a strange and haunting ringing tone. It is a real eerie ringing.

Newspaper – nūpepa

A man is reading a newspaper, and looks closely at an advertisement for some “New Pepper“.

Magazine – maheni

A supermarket shopper looks at a magazine for poultry enthusiasts. The front cover has an image of a woman holding a pet hen, and the title is “My Henny“.

Website – pae tukutuku

A young girl looks at a website on a laptop computer. It’s a website about a service that delivers pies by tuk-tuk, called Pie Tuk-tuk.

Social media – pae pāpori

A flamboyantly-dressed man speaks to a camera, flanked by two assistants. All three are part way through wrapping up a pie in paper. The central man says “The most important thing about pie papering is getting it on social media! Put your pie papering videos on FaceBook, Twitter and others!”

Electronic magazine, ezine, zine – mahenihiko

An inventor shows a clockwork magazine to a friend. It walks across the table. The friend says “That looks like an electronic magazine.” The inventor says “No, it’s mechanical.”

Media – hunga pāpāho

A prostitute made out of paper is about to be executed by hanging. The media is all gathered around the watch the spectacle. They are about to hang a paper whore.

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This wordlist is an except from Learn Te Reo With Mnemonics, a book being compiled by Jeff Ngatai for an expected release at the beginning of 2020.

Te Reo With Mnemonics: Protest and Politics Words

Protest – porotēhi

A bunch of protesters are sitting by a fence. A young man walks up to them, points at a teddy bear they have, and says “I don’t want to disturb your protest, but can I borrow your teddy?”

Solidarity – kotahitanga

A number of workers form a line of solidarity where their arms are linked inside a giant coathanger.

Clash/Battle/Conflict – pakanga

Two cars clash over a parking spot. Their occupants get out and start fighting, and then bystanders join in, until it’s a big battle.

Validity/Legality/Authority – whaimana

A Police officer goes in to make an arrest, but a fireman stops him and says “Sorry, only firemen have any authority here.”

to elect/appoint/place – whakatū (-hia,-ngia,-ria,-tia)

A elderly minister appoints a man as his official sheep shagger. He says “This job requires you to fuck one sheep every day.” The man says “Hell, if you appoint me, I’ll fuck two.”

to have a stake/claim, to possess a right/interest – whaipānga

A giant pie sits on a table, and a number of vipers bite into it to stake their claim for a piece of it.

Stakeholders – hunga whaipānga

In a corporate boardroom, a row of men are lined up holding stakes. In front of them, a man uses a stake to hang a dead viper on the wall. He turns to the others and says “If you want to be a stakeholder, you first have to hang a viper.”

Strike, to go on strike – porotū

A woman dressed as a nurse knocks on a man’s door and says “We’re going on strike tomorrow, so I want to borrow a placard.” The man says “Sure,” and shows her his collection of placards. She then says “Actually, can I borrow two?”

to answer/reply/respond – whakautu

A man gazes out a window through a pair of binoculars. “Can you see a far truck or a far train over there?” a woman asks, but he does not respond. “Hey, answer me!” she says. The man replies: “I can see a far car or two.”

Trouble/Dispute/Problem – raruraru

A woman is sitting in her car talking to a mechanic. He asks “What is the problem?” She tries to start the motor and, instead of starting, it just goes raruraruraruraru…

to arrange/organise/put in order – whakarite

A pornographic film director is speaking to one of his actors about the filming schedule. He motions to a naked woman and explains “Now, I’ve arranged for you to fuck Rita…”

Organiser – kaiwhakarite

The organiser of a karate festival, an effusively homosexual man, explains that the festival slogan challenges people to go “Gay for karate.”

to make good/better, to commend/praise/approve of – whakapai

On television, a man holds up a pie and says “They’ve improved these pies so much that I no longer go to the bakery to eat a pie – now I go there to fuck a pie!”

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This wordlist is an except from Learn Te Reo With Mnemonics, a book being compiled by Jeff Ngatai for an expected release at the beginning of 2020.