Boat – waka
Sailing through the ocean, impossibly managing to stay afloat, is a boat made of wicker.
Car – motokā
A woman drives out of a garage in a car. Then a man asks his son where the car is. The son replies “Ma took it.”
Bicycle – paihikara
A woman rides a bicycle past a line of noisy picketers.
Plane – manurere
An aeroplane crashes into a gigantic pile of horse manure.
Motorcycle – motopāika
A knight rides a motorcycle as if it was a jousting horse, only instead of a lance he has a pike. He is the motor piker.
drive – taraiwa
A man drives his car at different speeds along a road. Then he comes to a woman holding a bunch of ice-creams. “Try one,” she says.
arrive – whakaeke
A man walks through an arrivals hall at an airport. People keep offering him eggs. When he gets to the front of the queue, he knocks one egg away and says “Fuck eggs!”
depart – haere atu
A king and his retinue walk into a cannabis cafe. They get so high that they float off the ground, departing from the Earth entirely. They have departed because they are the high retinue.
Welcome – pōwhiri
A ferry full of very poor looking people arrives at a wharf. It is the poor ferry. The passengers disembark under a large “Welcome” sign.
Goodbye (to one going) – haere rā
A lion leaves its pride and climbs halfway up a mountain. Then it turns back and, to say goodbye, lets out a roar from up there. It is a higher roar.
Travel – haerere
A man is showing a slideshow of travel photos from all around the world. In them, the man appears to be very hairy.
Adventure – mātātoa
A backpacker climbs up through a bizarrely constructed building, and it looks adventurous. As they pass a dangerous-looking chunk of porcelain, the guide in front of him says “Mind the toilet”.
The above is an excerpt from the upcoming Learn Maori Vocabulary With Mnemonics, by Jeff Ngatai, due to be published by VJM Publishing in the summer of 2017/18.